Lungs

When you get part of your lungs removed, it can be difficult to breathe for a while. You have to train your lungs to work again. You practice taking slow deep breaths and holding your breath for as long as you can.

It sounds so easy. Just breathe. In and out. In and out. Hold it. You've been doing it your whole life, but now you must concentrate on it.

This simple task of filling my lungs makes me feel like I'm at a high altitude after hiking for hours and trying to hold a lengthy conversation during the entire trek. However, there's no picturesque mountain view or feeling of accomplishment once I'm at the peak. There's gasping for air and trying to explain in broken sentences that my lack of oxygen looks worse than it is.

Thankfully, my doctor told me that I can push it as far as I want. There's no chance of hurting my lungs by making them do the thing they were created to do.

It's crazy how my life started to revolve around an organ inside my body that I never gave much thought to before this cancer diagnosis. It always worked on its own.

And a thought crossed my mind. Do I want Jesus as much as I want a deep breath of fresh air? Do I give enough thought to the Holy Spirit who lives inside me?

Maybe I only notice Him when a type of cancer has taken over part of my life. Some sin is growing from within, killing me one cell at a time, and hiding the best that it can. Once I notice it, the treatment begins. I focus my energy on God's goodness and trust His strength to handle this horrible situation. At last, He carefully cuts out the tumor to remove that problem so I can breathe like a Christian again.

Recovery takes time. I'm learning to lean on Him more and more each day. My body is permanently changed by His work, and I realize how much I need Jesus in my life. I needed the healing.

Even when I'm not giving Him much thought, He's working in my life. I shouldn't only focus on Him in times of trouble or struggle. He deserves my whole self in all times. I should be wanting him when I have physical needs, when everything is going great, when I'm in the hospital, when I'm doing chores around the house, when I'm curled up in bed, when I'm relaxing on the couch, when I'm noticing my sins, and when everything seems fine.

As a Christian, God is priority. The priority. The first in all. The support keeping me alive. As Matt Maher sings "If you're alive and breathing, praise the Lord!"

The pain we feel is suffocating. But God is able to fill our lungs.

The suffering we experience is devastating. But God is able to lift us up.

The sin-filled world is groaning. But God can make all things new.

So, I will praise Him in my recovery, and I will remember Him when all is well.