Support

With two cancer diagnoses in two years, I've seen my fair share of nurses and doctors. They've all been very helpful and caring by using their God-given gifts to treat me. These professionals know that fighting cancer is not simply a physical battle. It's a mental and emotional journey as well.

Each time I visit a new facility, I know one of the questions they're going to ask. It goes something like this, "What does your support look like? Is anyone helping you? Do you have family nearby? Have you heard of our group that meets weekly?"

For many cancer patients, the support from friends and family is very high when the diagnosis is first made, but the support system fades away quickly over time even though cancer treatment and follow-ups last for years. You have surgery and people are constantly bringing you food and sending cards. Then, maybe, you have chemo week after week and unfortunately, you become old news.

There's also little talk of the spiritual support you need. Of course, you can lean on God through any kind of storm, but I want to point out the way other people can support you spiritually. I couldn't focus enough to read a couple of sentences when I was going through chemo. I needed help, and thankfully people kept sending me short Bible promises of encouragement.

It was also difficult because my corporate worship was cut off due to covid restrictions. Sure, we worshipped in our house with our family, but nothing compares to the connection with God and the church like being together with other believers.

Support can lift you up when you're down, take the weight off your shoulders, and give you a blessing of hope, peace, or joy. God gives us heaven moments when others are Good Samaritans toward us.

I've been extremely blessed during my cancer treatment because of the support of my family and friends. My husband is willing to do anything asked of him including being at doctor appointments, serving me at home, and helping extra around the house. My mom not only watches my kids when I have to leave for the hospital, but she also helps with my daycare. Several people have supported me financially by sending money, gift cards, or meals. Many people have sent cards and messages to me throughout my entire time going through this.

I realize that some cancer patients have surgery, and then they're in remission. Other people fight for decades with different tests and treatments. It's such a varied disease that it's hard to know how bad someone's situation is or what you can do to help.

So, here's my list on how to be a supportive heaven moment for someone going through cancer.

1. Pray. Tell God what's going on and ask Him to comfort this person. Praise Him for being faithful and keeping His promises. Thank Him for listening to your prayer and for putting this person in your life. Ask Him to use you as a blessing for this person.

2. Check-in. Send a card or message to this person all the time...especially if you haven't heard a health update from them lately. Don't expect a message back because it can be mentally and emotionally draining for that person to keep repeating their story. However, it's great to hear that people are thinking of you and caring about you. Say something like, "Hey! I know cancer is terrible. I'm praying for you." If they want to respond, they will.

3. Don't ask. Do. Lots of people want to help in a practical way. Saying you'll help is great, but offering a suggestion of how you can help is better. This takes the stress of deligating off that person. Instead of saying, "Let me know if you need anything," try saying something more specific such as, "Let me know what night I can bring you a meal," "Do you need help organizing your medical information?" or "When do you want a date night? I'll babysit!" I'm working on this skill when offering to help people too since I notice I often say, "Let me know if you need anything." I'm noticing that when I'm the one in need of help, I don't always know what I need.

4. For ideas about notes, visits, conversation, errands, or gifts for cancer patients, check out the list created here: https://www.cancer.org/treatment/caregivers/how-to-be-a-friend-to-someone-with-cancer.html

This list is not exclusive or exhaustive. You (people most likely to read my blog) were probably my heaven moment at some point over these last couple of years. These are beneficial ways to serve someone, but they might not be the perfect help for everyone (except #1).

God is the ultimate support system. He can give you rest and comfort. In some cases, he heals miraculously. In others, he heals through modern medicine. He may not heal you physically, but He will work your story into His plan for good. He is in control, and He will never leave your side.

When the nurses ask about the help I have, I know they're making sure I have a way to get to appointments, eat healthy food, and maintain a source of money to pay for my house and medical needs. But when I think of the kind of support needed to take someone through life's pain and suffering, I know that means following Jesus for every struggle I may face.

Scripture drop (like a mic drop but with blips from the Psalms and such). God is our refuge and strength. The name of the Lord is a strong tower. The Lord sustains my soul. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me. You lift up my head. For those who love God. Take heart!